The Author's great Love of his Native Country. His Master's Observations upon the Constitution and Administration of England, as described by the Author, with parallel Cases and Comparisons. His Master's Observations upon Human Nature.
The Reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself to give so free a Representation of my own Species, among a Race of Mortals who were already too apt to conceive the vilest Opinion of Human Kind from that entire Congruity betwixt me and their Yahoos. But I must freely confess, that the many Virtues of those excellent Quadrupeds placed in opposite View to human Corruptions, had so far opened my Eyes and enlightened my Understanding, that I began to view the Actions and Passions of Man in a very different Light, and to think the Honour of my own Kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me to do before a Person of so acute a Judgment as my Master, who daily convinced me of a thousand Faults in myself, whereof I had not the least Perception before, and which among us would never be numbered even among human Infirmities, I had likewise learned from his Example an utter Detestation of all Falsehood or Disguise; and Truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing every thing to it.
Let me deal so candidly with the Reader, as to confess, that there was yet a much stronger Motive for the Freedom I took in my Representation of Things. I had not been a Year in this Country, before I contracted such a Love and Veneration for the Inhabitants, that I entered on a firm Resolution never to return to human Kind, but to pass the rest of my Life among these admirable Houyhnhnms in the Contemplation and Practice of every Virtue; where I could have no Example or Incitement to Vice. But it was decreed by Fortune, my perpetual Enemy, that so great a Felicity should not fall to my share. However, it is now some Comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my Countrymen, I extenuated their Faults as much as I durst before so strict an Examiner, and upon every Article, gave as favourable a Turn as the Matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will not be swayed by his Byass and Partiality to the Place of his Birth?
I have related the Substance of several Conversations I had with my Master, during the greatest part of the Time I had the Honour to be in his Service, but have indeed for Brevity sake omitted much more than is here set down.
When I had answered all his Questions, and his Curiosity seemed to be fully satisfied; he sent for me one Morning early, and commanding me to sit down at some distance, (an Honour which he had never before conferred upon me) he said, He had been very seriously considering my whole Story, as far as it related both to myself and my Country: That he looked upon us as a sort of Animals to whose Share, by what Accident he could not conjecture, some small Pittance of Reason had fallen, whereof we made no other Use than by its Assistance to aggravate our natural Corruptions, and to acquire new ones which Nature had not given us. That we disarmed ourselves of the few Abilities she had bestowed, had been very successful in multiplying our original Wants, and seemed to spend our whole Lives in vain Endeavours to supply them by our own Inventions. That as to myself, it was manifest I had neither the Strength or Agility of a common Yahoo, that I walked infirmly on my hinder Feet, had found out a Contrivance to make my Claws of no Use or Defence, and to remove the Hair from my Chin, which was intended as a shelter from the Sun and the Weather. Lastly, That I could neither run with Speed, nor climb Trees like my Brethren (as he called them) the Yahoos in this Country.
That our Institutions of Government and Law were plainly owing to our gross Defects in Reason, and by consequence, in Vertue; because Reason alone is sufficient to govern a Rational Creature; which was therefore a Character we had no Pretence to challenge, even from the Account I had given of my own People, although he manifestly perceived, that in order to favour them, I had concealed many Particulars, and often said the Thing which was not.
He was the more confirmed in this Opinion, because he observed, that as I agreed in every Feature of my Body with other Yahoos, except where it was to my real Disadvantage in point of Strength, Speed and Activity, the shortness of my Claws, and some other Particulars where Nature had no Part; so from the Representation I had given him of our Lives, our Manners, and our Actions, he found as near a Resemblance in the Disposition of our Minds. He said the Yahoos were known to hate one another more than they did any different Species of Animals; and the Reason usually assigned, was, the Odiousness of their own Shapes, which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our Bodies, and by that Invention, conceal many of our own Deformities from each other, which would else be hardly supportable. But, he now found he had been mistaken, and that the Dissentions of those Brutes in his Country were owing to the same Cause with ours, as I had described them. For, if (said he) you throw among Five Yahoos as much Food as would be sufficient for Fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the Ears, each single one impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a Servant was usually employed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a Distance from each other; that if a Cow died of Age or Accident, before a Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own Yahoos, those in the Neighbourhood would come in Herds to seize it, and then would ensue such a Battle as I had described, with terrible Wounds made by their Claws on both Sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for want of such convenient Instruments of Death as we had invented. At other times the like Battles have been fought between the Yahoos of several Neighbourhoods without any visible Cause: Those of one District watching all Opportunities to surprize the next before they are prepared. But if they find their Project hath miscarried, they return home, and for want of Enemies, engage in what I call a Civil War among themselves.
That in some Fields of his Country, there are
certain shining Stones of
My Master farther assured me, which I also observed
myself, That in the Fields where these shining Stones abound, the
fiercest and most frequent Battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual
Inroads of the Neighbouring Yahoos.
He said, it was common when two Yahoos
discovered such a Stone in a Field, and were contending which of
them should be the Proprietor, a third would take the Advantage, and carry
it away from them both; which my Master would needs contend to have some
kind of Resemblance with our Suits at Law; wherein I thought it
for our Credit not to undeceive him; since the Decision he mentioned was
much more equitable than many Decrees among us: Because the Plaintiff and
Defendant there lost nothing beside the Stone they contended for,
whereas our Courts of Equity, would seldom have dismissed
the Cause while either of them had any thing left.
My Master continuing his Discourse, said, There was
nothing that rendered the Yahoos more odious, than their
undistinguishing Appetite to devour every Thing that came in their way,
whether Herbs, Roots, Berries, the corrupted Flesh of Animals, or all
mingled together: And it was peculiar in their Temper, that they were
fonder of what they could get by Rapine or Stealth at a greater distance,
than much better Food provided for them at home. If their Prey held out,
they would eat till they were ready to burst, after which Nature had
pointed out to them a certain Root that gave them a general
Evacuation.
There was also another kind of Root very
juicy, but somewhat rare and difficult to be found, which the
Yahoos sought for with much Eagerness, and would suck it with great
Delight; and it produced the same Effects that Wine hath upon us. It would
make them sometimes hug, and sometime tear one another, they would howl
and grin, and chatter, and tumble, and then fall a sleep in the Dirt.
I did indeed observe, that the Yahoos were the
only Animals in this Country subject to any Diseases; which however, were
much fewer than Horses have among us, and contracted not by any ill
Treatment they meet with, but by the Nastiness, and Greediness of that
sordid Brute. Neither has their Language any more than a general
Appellation for these Maladies, which is borrowed from the Name of the
Beast, and called Hnea-Yahoo or the Yahoo's-Evil, and
the Cure prescribed is a Mixture of their own Dung and
Urine forcibly put down the Yahoo's Throat. This I have
since often taken myself, and do freely recommend it to my
Countrymen, for the publick Good, as an admirable Specifick against
all Diseases produced by Repletion.
As to Learning, Government, Arts, Manufactures, and the
like, my Master confessed he could find little or no Resemblance between
the Yahoos of that Country and those in ours. For, he only meant
to observe what Parity there was in our Natures. He had heard indeed some
curious Houyhnhnms observe, that in most Herds there was a sort
of ruling Yahoo, (as among us there is generally some leading or
principal Stag in a Park) who was always more deformed in Body,
and mischievous in Disposition, than any of the rest. That
this Leader had usually a Favourite as like himself as
he could get, whose Employment was to lick his Master's Feet and
Posteriors, and drive the Female Yahoos to his Kennel; for
which he was now and then rewarded with a piece of Ass's Flesh. This
Favourite is hated by the whole Herd, and therefore to protecct
himself, keeps always near the Person of his Leader. He usually
continues in Office till a worse can be found; but the very Moment he is
discarded, his Successor, at the Head of all the Yahoos in that
District, Young and Old, Male and Female, come in a Body, and discharge
their Excrements upon him from Head to Foot. But how far this might be
applicable to our Courts and Favourites, and
Ministers of State, my Master said I could best determine.
I durst make no return to this malicious Insinuation,
which debased human Understanding below the Sagacity of a common
Hound, who has Judgment enough to distinguish and follow the Cry of
the ablest Dog in the Pack, without being ever mistaken.
My Master told me, there were some Qualities remarkable
in the Yahoos, which he had not observed me to mention, or
at least very slightly, in the Accounts I had given him of human Kind; he
said, Those Animals, like other Brutes, had their Females in common; but
in this they differed, that the She-Yahoo would admit the Male,
while she was pregnant, and that the Hees would quarrel and fight with
Females as fiercely as with each other. Both which Practices were such
Degrees of Brutality, that no other sensitive Creature ever arrived at.
Another thing he wondred at in the Yahoos, was
their strange Disposition to Nastiness and Dirt, whereas there appears to
be a natural Love of Cleanliness in all other Animals. As to the two
former Accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any Reply, because
I had not a Word to offer upon them in Defence of my Species, which
otherwise I certainly had done from my own Inclinations. But I could have
easily vindicated Human Kind from the Imputation of Singularity upon the
Article, if there had been any Swine in
that Country, (as unluckily for me there were not) which although it may
be a sweeter Quadruped than a Yahoo, cannot I humbly
conceive in Justice pretend to more Cleanliness; and so his Honour himself
must have owned, if he had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their
Custom of wallowing and sleeping in the Mud.
My Master likewise mentioned another Quality which his
Servants had discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly
unaccountable. He said, a Fancy would sometimes take a Yahoo, to
retire into a Corner, to lie down and howl, and groan, and spurn away all
that came near him, although he were young and fat, wanted neither Food
nor Water; nor could the Servants imagine what could possibly ail him. And
the only Remedy they found was to set him to hard Work, after which
he would infallibly come to himself. To this I was silent out of
Partiality to my own Kind; yet here I could discover the true Seeds of
Spleen, which only seizeth on the Lazy, the
Luxurious, and the Rich; who, if they were forced to undergo
the same Regimen I would undertake for the Cure.
His Honour had farther observed, that a
Female-Yahoo would often stand behind a Bank or a Bush, to gaze
on the young Males passing by, and then appear, and hide, using many
antick Gestures and Grimaces, at which time it was observed, that she had
a most offensive Smell; and when any of the Males advanced, would
slowly retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit shew of Fear,
run off into some convenient Place where she knew the Male would follow
her.
As other times if a Female Stranger came among them,
Three or Four of her own Sex would get about her, and stare and chatter,
and grin, and smell her all over, and then turn off with Gestures that
seemed to express Contempt and Disdain.
Perhaps my Master might refine a little in these
Speculations, which he had drawn from what he observed himself, or had
been told him by others: however, I could not reflect without some
Amazement, and much Sorrow, that the Rudiments of Lewdness, Coquetry,
Censure, and Scandal, should have place by Instinct in
Womankind.
I expected every Moment that my Master would accuse
the Yahoos of those unnatural Appetites in both Sexes, so common
among us. But Nature it seems hath not been so expert a
School-mistress; and these politer Pleasures are entirely the Productions
of Art and Reason, on our side of the Globe.
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